Earth Girl

Thursday, April 26, 2007

It was BIG and it was PINK

What's that coming into our driveway?
IT'S A PINK LIMO
It's here!
Can we get in yet?
Inside we were getting hyper on coke and waving at people. I had a conversation with a man at the stop lights!
VERY attractive.
We're here!
Cheeeeeese!

Friday, April 06, 2007

Apple Pies and Kitty Kats

Today my Mom took me to her shop today to work on this dress I've been making for about a decade. It finally is starting to look like a dress now!! Wooohoo

For lunch, typically, we went to McDonald's. It's normal to work in a Health Food shop then get a grease infested lunch from Maccy D's, right? We walked in after having a bit of trouble with the door. Jen, my Mom's other employee, wanted us to get her something vegetarian because it's Good Friday. We were going to get her the Veggi Deli sandwich. Of course, they stopped doing it and nothing, I repeat NOTHING else on the menu was vegetarian. Not even the salad, probably because they fry the lettuce in pork fat or something , or maybe just because it has chicken in it :-) While I was there, I noticed that all of the girls' faces were orange. I humoured myself by looking at their face, then at their white arms...

While I was at the shop eating my double cheeseburger, ashamed of the greasey smell that was diffusing into the shop, I had a thought. There is thee rap on You tube that goes 'I need a double cheeseburger and hold the lettuce...' But there wasn't any lettuce on mine. Look, see for yourself



Anyhoo, I was really peed off because I paid £3.17 for my double cheeseburger meal and Maree paid £2.18 minus the drink. It' was a whole POUND more expensive just for a cruddy, watered-down drink with ice so it takes up more room in the cup. That you can't even re-use because it's so cruddy. But then I peeled off a sticker from the cup and it said I won a free apple pie.



Moving on, I just have to say that my kitties are so retarded and mentally disabled. I mean, if you were a cat, would your thought proccess be: 'Oh look a wiggley thing, I'm going to bite it! Owww! Oh look a wiggley thing....'?or 'I'm gonna walk right in the middle of the hallway and...Oh my gosh, I have to lick my butt. Right now. Oww, don't kick me you stupid giant.', 'Ooooo, there's something dark and mysterious. Let's go jump in it!', 'Oh look! Someone just walked into that small room with the huge noisy water bowl. I'll go jump on the door.'or 'I'm feeling sleepy, I need to go tak a cat nap on the fish tank.' But they are so stinkin cute and stinky, but cute. And fluffy

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Big Girls you are Beautiful

Walks in to the room
Feels like a big balloon
I said, 'Hey girls you are beautiful'
Diet coke and a pizza please
Diet coke I'm on my knees
Screaming 'Big girl you are beautiful'

You take your skinny girls

Feel like I'm gonna die
Cos a real woman
Needs a real man is why

You take your girl

And multiply her by four
Now a whole lotta woman
Needs a whole lot more

Get yourself to the Butterfly Lounge

Find yourself a big lady
Big boy coming around
And they'll be calling you 'baby.'

No need to fantasise

Since I was in my braces
A watering hole
With the girls around
And curves in all the right places

Big girls you are beautifu (aha)

lBig girls you are beautiful (aha)
Big girls you are beautiful (aha)
Big girls you are beautiful (aha)
Oh you are beautiful


I love this song. I know it's kind of cheating for a post, but I just wanted to let the world know that I like this song :-)

To Veg, or not to Veg? That is the question

It's Easter break now for all three of us and has been since Friday last week. To the kids of this family, if we are not going anywhere, this means TV. All day. Every day. Unless we have to clean the house or are taken to my Mom's shop. A typical holiday is A-M vegging out in front of the TV. Katherine vegging out int front of the TV, then deciding she could do something better for 30 minutes, then decides that her first decision was better, for about 20 minutes etc. etc.

Me, I go from TV, to computer, to room. And occasionally I go visit the bathroom or the kitchen. When I decide that I'm not very satisfied with my day, which is about 11:30am, I enter the kitchen, hoping that my brain will turn into a super recipe book and I will turn into a super chef. Then after about 10 minutes of looking on the internet or in a recipe book, I just end up making beans and eggs on toast...

So today I've tried to make my day a little more successful. Today, I came home from a sleepover and did my usual routine. BUT, at about 1pm, wait for it, I made a LIST. I'm usually a list person anyway, I get it from my Dad. And I know I have a lot to do, but, I have been sucked into the holiday boredom and can only bring myself to play Hannah and the Pirate Caves, then occassioanlly twiddle on the piano and annoy the zombie people in the other room. I have found myself yelling the most absurd, random things today like, 'Quick! How do I get over the monkey?' and 'There's a swimming skull trying to eat me!!' I mean, I know that getting to level 12 of a game isn't going to help me right an essay on the Midnight Sun, I KNOW that. And yet I play.

It was Katherine's birthday yesterday and all I had got her was a couple pairs of cute underpants. So the day before, A-M and I thought of a plan. I just downloaded this multisound track recorder thing so her and I got together and wrote her a song. Well, not exactly wrote a song, more like cut up a bunch, stuck them together and changed the words. We recorded it 15 times before she was happy with it. I'm serious. Anyway, Katherine was sitting behind me, and since it was her birthday yesterday she got buckets load of chocolate and she said 'I feel so fat.' I turned to look at her and she threw me a couple of those little celebrations. After I ate them, I walked over to the table and stuck my hand in the bucket. She said 'No!'
'Why? I thought you were feeling fat, I'm doing you a favour.'
'I'm saving them for later' ??

Anyway, I had a bunch of stuff I was going to write but it kind of dissolved in my mind. A-M just came in and asked 'Would you like to try some of my "Sweet & Sour"?' Just minutes before I think she was fighting with the blender. She just let me tast some and lemme tell you, she nailed that name. It had grapefruit juice in it. I sort of squidged my face up, like those pictures on war heads, and jerked my head back. I thought I only got all grapefruit juice so I took another swig. Nope, I got all of it. It was very interesting in an interesting way. I couldn't decide wether I like it or not so I kept taking a sip, jerking my head back, then taking another sip. My sister did an imitation of me doing this and I said 'Why are you having a spaz attack?' Then I realized she was doing an imitation of me :-) i just realized that Snow Patrol does a song called 'Open your Eyes,' then one called 'Shut your eyes' Which one should I believe? Oh and by the way, if Ugly Betty plays in America, Oh my gosh!! I thought the bandaged person was FEY!!!! And is Christina gonna do what Willy wants? ahhhhhhhhhh. And if it doesn't I'm sorry I exposed you to my insanity. Happy Easter everybody!