Mooooo!
There are actual cows in our field. Now how many people can actually say that they actually have actual cows in their actual backyard?? :-DI tried to get a picture but it's too darn dark. :-(
The unusual sleepover and the hair cut of doom
Well, yesterday I went to me mum's employee's house. Her name is Maree (not Marie - Mar as in Mars bar and ee as in weee!). I'm going to skip all of the boring stuff.
We just picked (husband) Joe up from work and we were all peckish so he turns around and says 'Do you like chinky?' Now before I tell you what his reply was after my 'Wha?' do you know what chinky is? Could you make an intelligent guess? Do you not think it is a completely random word? Or is it just me? Well apparently it means 'Chinese', right ok that makes a little sense. Where on earth does the 'k' come from? Isn't the word 'chinese' short enough?
So it's about 8:30pm and Maree's and Joe's Slavackian friends come around to do some laundry. When they walked in, they looked around as if looking for Maree, she was upstairs so their eyes fell upon moi. They were a little puzzled so Joe said 'oh, I divorced Maree, this is me new woman' :-) Maree came back downstairs and showed them to the washing machine.
They had just come back from a trip from (I won't even try) their home country. So they brought some gifts for them: pine tree vodka stuff, cheese, chocolate and sausages. Joe got to see them first so when Maree came and sat down, Joe said 'Look what they brought us!', he held out the sausages and said 'this is sheeps di*k'. English humor. Maree told him off for swearing and then Joe started going on about how you pronounce the vodka's name. They must have told him a million times. He was having beer so everytime he 'discreetly' burped, I 'discreetly' turned away and held my sleeve up to my nose.
Joe was showing off his knowledge about why putting 2 fingers up here is swearing, why they call those things in gym dung/dumb/dong bells (I didn't hear him proply, he is a bit of a mumbler) etc. etc. Anyhoo, he offered me some slavakian mineral water in a joking way :-) After that, he was asking the couple why we say czeckOslavakia because in their language they say it as 2 separate countries and he was asking why we put the 'o' (or whatever letter it is, I just guessed) in how we say it. They were trying to give an intelligent guess but nobody really knew why. I mean why would they know why we put some random letter in between their country's name, it's not even their language so why would they know if english people don't know?!
After they left me and Joe got to talking, and as he likes to insult me as much as I can, the subject comes upon Americans. So he says, 'Americans are nothing but convicts, and irish.' What would you say to that? You would think that's a bit random and a bit mean of him and a bit silly of him (some grown ups like to condradict or insult kids right in front of their faces because the think they are so much better than them, so this wasn't really a surprise at all and even less so because it was coming from Joe). So I said 'Ok, why?' Then it turns into this whole argument. It was quite funny. I was saying 'Well, what about american indians, what about all of the slaves?' So he says 'But we shot all of them' Then I gave him a 'Oh really? Ya right' look. He said 'Most of them'
'Ya MOST of them, so that means that there are descendants from then them.'
Ok fine...'
'So now your saying that your first statement isn't true.'
'Well, no.' etc. etc. Then it gets into the civil war and how stupid we were blah blah. So I was trying to defend my country :-) and said 'Well, it's actually your fault because you were the ones who brought the slaves to our country in the first place.'
'But you had your silly independence so you could have freed them once you bought them.'
'Then why would we buy them then?'
Anyway, we had lots of arguments around that. He explained it all from the beginning. 'Americans are all descendants of scottish, irish, convicts, and american indians.'
'So now your saying that you were wrong before.'
'Shhh, the irish and scottish were all criminals and we didn't know what to do with them. So when we dicovered America, we just sent them all over here along with the convicts.' And it's just struck me now, if the irish and scottish were criminals then who were the convicts? He gave me a whole blumin explanation of his opinion that took a billion years. After he finished I said 'Well then it's all YOUR fault then if we are bad because YOU brought YOUR people over, and anyway you haven't been to america so stop assuming that we are all criminals if the only americans you know is my family. Do we look like criminals?'
He thought he won that one but he SO did not :-P
After he had thought he came out with 'Eric,' how origonal. So he started calling me Eric. 'Well I'm gonna call you Joseph'
'I don't care'
'Josephine then'
'Erica is the Banana Man's name, so now your Banana Man'
'Well your scrimpy!' I was glad I got to use my new vocabulary (in my school days blog it says there, scrimpy simply means mean).'Eh? What does sc scrimpy mean?''I'm not going to tell you''Tell me''Go get a dictionary''No, tell me what it means!''No''Right, well I'll stick your head under the freezing cold tap''Fine.' He got up and turned on the tap in the kitchen. He came back and looked at me and smirked. Maree said 'Joe come on' So he turned off the tap and came back to lay on the couch. She whispered to me that he had actually done that before, to his niece...'Tell me what scrimpy means''If you got up and turned on the tap the you can go get a dictionary''No!''Ok fine, I'll give you a clue. Scrimpy means the same as obstreperous which means the same as vociferous which means the same as obstinate wh...'They don't actually mean the same thing but they are close enough :-)After that long night of arguing he says that he likes to wind me up, argue with me and that I can come around any time. Hmm, well right back at you. Oh, and somewhere in there I asked him why he calls chinese 'chinky.' He started singin this weird song. He couldn't answer and then starts going about I talk funny. Hmph.Next day my Mom picks me up and I went to get my hair cut with A-M at a new hair place. We found it and it's the size of a matchbox, and an old grannies' bar. So we go in and all of the grandma's are staring at us. I went first and I specifically told the ninny that I DIDN'T want short bangs. Of course SHE thinks that long bangs are cut to the eyebrows WHILE WET. I was already horrified at how much she had cut of and she said 'Do you want me to cut anymore off?' I was going to scream 'I have to go to school now looking like a 5 year old because you think that long bangs are an inch long!' But I just said 'No'She looked disgusted and said 'Well when it's dried you can decide if you want anymore off.'I stuck my tongue out at her.I didn't actually, I was just a tired, grumpy teenager.When I was done I noticed the grannies talking about joint disfunctions and tea. It's so interesting living in England.
Scool days
Today I decided that I should blog today, so I am. I'm going to tell you about my new school. We have lime green shirts, ties and grey blazers that make you look like an american footballer or a trend follower in the 80's because of the shoulder pads. And you thought uniforms were cool.I have about 15 billion hours of hw a night to go with my 15 billion subjects I have. I'll tell you about my teachers now... Mr. How. He hasn't acutally talked to me, but he's a legend. He's a big 7 footish guy with a lisp that likes to pick on first years (freshmans if you will). I saw him on his bike in his shorts one day. Katherine was amazed because she thought that surely there was no way a tiny bike could hold all of him up. Mr. Williams... Chemisty teacher. He is well, a loon. At the beginning of my first chemistry lesson he got the whole class to try and guess my middle name. Nobody could so we played hang man. We finally got it and he asked why that was my middle name. 'Oh, my mom went into labour...'Sorry, didn't hear that''My mom went into labour...''What?'My Mom went into labour...''Your mum worked in Weaver?''My mom went into LABOUR (geez do I has to spell it out and draw a diagram?) with me the night she was supposed to go to the Giselle ballet.'OHHHHHH! RIGHT. Very nice'Then when I was signing for my text book, the conversation got onto dogs somehow. So he asked if I had a dog. 'Nope, I have 2 cats though.''Oh really what are their names?''Stinkerbell and Edwin''What?''Stinkerbell and Edwin''Tinkerbell?''Stinkerbell''Oh?''She was really stinky when we first got her.''Oh I see. And..?''Edwin'Then somehow he said something about his girlfriend being I cat. I can't remember what his exact words were but it was really wierd. Oh, and on the first day, too, he was talking about a song and just burst out singing and didn't stop, then all the suck ups (i.e everyone) started clapping when he finished the song Anyway, in lessons he babbles and babbles for hours, and he dictates so fast I can't keep up. The boys have a good plan though, one of them copies for a while then another etc. Dunno how it works exactly. I remember Mr. Williams saying 'How many elecrons iin the first group in an atom, in an atom, in an atom, in an atom?' It was like his computer chip gone retarted.THEN, one week someone said something about cheerleaders. And he said' Oh, don't shake your pom-poms at me dear' then started doing a little routine. A girl in my class said that their class got the highest chemistry results in the year because he scared them into learning.Anyhoo, that's enough about Mr. Nutcase.Mrs. Mybergh. English teacher south african. I thought she was german. Ha! She has the biggest vocabulary on earth. My and Gina on msn started coming up with cool insults because english teacher says that if you don't swear, it shows you have a good vocabulary. We were laughing our heads off. Look at these: obsreperous twit, vociferous nutcase, heart- rending dud, scrimpy ninconpoop. At lunch we kept saying 'You obstreperous tiwt!' SO funny.You had to be there.Mr. Shaw- Mr. Shaw is a great teacher but he either doesn't believe in, or doesn't know that deoderant exists. People spray on colone, perfume, air fresheners anything! And rush to the seats by the window. It's not THAT bad, except when he gets exctied or starts demonstrating how people bangs spears on their sheilds to hide Zues's cry by lifting his arms up. Ughh. Oh, I made a rap about Zues. It's really funny. INIT!I have to go now :-)
Half Term
This week, I get the whole week off from school. Yay! It's called half term. In England we have 3 terms that make up the school year. Every term we get 2-3 weeks off. And in the middle of a term we get a HALF term for a week. Clever huh?
Anyway, I haven't blogged in eons. And really I don't have a clue what I'm going to talk about so I hope it flows....
Today A-M isn't here thanks to church. She is staying at a friends house and she stayed overnight. Which is kinda good for both of us. Katherine + Anne Marie = arguments, fights, voicebox damage, when there is 2 remotes that are currently not lost, lots of channel changing etc. etc. So far me and K haven't lost it yet with eachother so that's ok.
Last night I was bored so I decided to have a makeover. I got a big mirror and sat in a cahir with all of my make up. No one could see my face. I was happily gooping on the make up for quite a long time. Everyone thought I was just being vain :-) My Dad just went out of he room and told my mom about my vanity. I was then going up the stairs and she walked out and saw me all make-up uped and said 'You didn't tell me about this part!' Then my Dad walked out and they were all staring at my face. My Dad was like 'Oh!' And he thought I was being a teenager watching myself pout (which by the way I can't, my sister has tried to give me lessons but it just doesn't work). So now today, without taking my make up off last night, I look like a blonde goth.
I'm so happy because Monk is playing a new series :-D And I'm getting into a show called Due South. My goodness I have a load of HW. Have you heard of the Goo goo dolls? You would think they are girls right? Boys. I'm dying for some Ben & Jerry's. My stupid kitty kept me up all night on saturday. He kept lying on my head... I can see that this isn't really a paragraph anymore the definition is: a distinct portion of written or printed matter dealing with a particular idea.It isn't really a particular idea anymore, it's just a pile of random thoughts I am having :-)Man, I could only put 2 paragraphs together that make sense. I'll tell ya what, school has drained my life of blogisity time and interestingness. So when I finally do have something to say, it turns out like this :-) But I betchya I'll have something to talk about by the end of the week. We are going to have tea this week. It's our tradition now, every school break we have, we go have a spot of propa english tea (hot chocolate). With cucumber sarnies, scones and chocolate biscuits. Mmmmm Must dash, Ciao!
