Johnny Lingo

I just have to say, even though it is completely unnecessary, but it just sometimes drives me crazy. This is only going to be very short post, just long enough to explain my opinion on my Mother and my older sister. I am only going to talk about one aspect of them today, or else I would be here for a few eons, then by the time I have caught up with life again, I will have another few thousand pionts to make. ANYWAY.... back to the point, which I'm sure you are all DYING to hear now because I have lured you into this blog with my amazing writing skills and mind power. **

So, one day about 3 billion years ago, I got the DVD Johnny Lingo for a Christmas present from my grandparents. I didn't realize what it was until about 10 minutes into it. We watched the shorter version (which, come to think about it is only 10 minutes..) and during the last scene of the very lovely movie, my Muvver and Spiz (spazzy sis Katherine, don't worry, we love eachother really) burst into a HUMONGEOUS argument. I was like 'Oh brother here we go' They were fighting about the last scene. I don't know why they expressed their opinion about it in the first place, it would have saved a lot of fighting that will scar both of them for life.

Here is there argument: Why did the Dad stomp out of Johnny Lingo's hut screaming that he cheated on the number of cows he gave him?

Katherine: He did that because her father didn't realise how beautiful his daughter really was, so her Dad was trying to get more cows off of him because she was so OBVIOUSLY worth more than 8 cows.

Muvver: Her Dad was scum and had already gambled /killed by accident /lost all of the cows and was demanding more cows.

Now, everytime they have a slight argument over the stupidest thing, they say 'And do you remember the Johnny Lingo and how I was right about that?' Then they start that argument once again. I myself have witnessed that very thing at least 4 times, who knows what happens when I am not there to prevent violence and very harsh name calling such as 'pickle-butt' and 'pleb' (don't ask me what 'pleb' means, apparently Katherine's Math teacher accidently said that and every since, she is on the floor in a fit of hysteria whenever she hears it). So I am quite sick of it, I am so desperate I am now asking the public, and possibly the writers of Johnny Lingo.

My Dad chooses not to interupt their argument to give his opinion and tries to avoid being asked who is right. My ickle spiz is clueless. And personally I really don't care anymore. So I am asking you a favour. What do you think? Is Katherine right? Is my Mother right? Is there another alternative. And please don't start a war amoungst yourselves if you all have a different opinion, although that would be funny.

**If you have never seen Johnny Lingo, either go watch it right now, don't bother reading this blog, or read it and see why you don't need to read it :-D

A Grand Day Out

Yesterday was the first day out I had with a friend from school and this is how it went:

When I was done with Stagecoach at 1, I went to pick up my buddy at the bus stop. My Dad drove us to the train station. We were going to get to Cheshire Oaks all by ourselves, because we decided that we were going to be independant. So we got to the station and we stood on the platform with about a minute to spare before the train was supposed to come at 1:21.

We both noticed that nobody else was on the platformand by 1:30 , I decided to run over to the other platform and see if we got the right time from the internet. We did, and we finally figured out that we missed the train by about 30 seconds and the next one wasn't for another hour. But I was just so shocked at this because that meant that the train was actually early, English trains are supposed to be late if anything, but just not early. We had to concoct a Plan B.

Conveniently there was a Tesco right next to the station, so we walked over there to have lunch in le cafe. I got a toastie, apparently. First of all, it was a piece of charcoal, secondly, the cheese was actually liquid and grease that seemed to reproduce, thirdly, the poor excuse of ham was about 7 little 1mm by 1mm cubes of ham and fourthly, I had to pay for it. So by that time we decided that today was going to be an interesting adventure.

We bought a mazagine and a drink then caught the train. Yay! We sat and read the magazine and listened to Gina's Mp3 player. Gina said she would pay for the train, and I would pay for the bus to make it easier. No problemo. We get to chester, halfway to Cheshire Oaks. We catch the but to the city centre then walk to the Chester bus exchange. There was a bus in 20 minutes so we stayed out there freezing our butts off. Then a bunch of chavs walked in and immediatly lit some cigarettes. I bet they didn't actually need one, they just wanted to be obnoxious. Previously, Gina and I wondered if chavs, scousers, emos etc. were mentally derranged. We didn' come up with a conclusion but anyway... We went outside of the but stand thing to get away from the 'scusting chavvy fumes, only to find a woman outside of the bus stand smoking. We decided to count the minutes.

Now this bus was normal, it was late. And oh how we wished the train was too. Cause then we would have been there an hour earlier and would have watched the movie we wanted to see when we wanted to see it. So we get on the bus, for another 30 mins, I was dreading the chavs because they would make the bus ride ell. But they only shouted randomly in unison 'We love you Darron.'

We finally got to Cheshire Oaks! We decided to celebrate, and walked to the cinema. We were going to see when we could see another movie. But THEN!... We say Mrs. Myburgh. Our English teacher walking in. Gina was like 'Turn around, walk our, walk out,' We started laughing ourselves silly and we went in to try to work out what she was going to see. She was seeing 'The last king of Scotland' We figured that out because it was the only English teacherish movie up there, and because it was the only movie on at that time. So on Monday we are going to freak her out by pretending to be phsycic!

All of the good movies wern't on for another hour and a half. But we got the tickets anyway and walked around the shops. We went in a few here and there, but we didn't buy anything. Until we got to Thorntons. There was a big chocolate fountain that drew us in. Since I was nutritionally deprived from lunch, I had to get a shot of chocolate, after all it was good chocolate. If I had had a good sandwich, then I wouldn't have got one, well maybe.

We got 2 shots, and I gotta tell you it was heaven! Pure, warm melted chocolater on a cold winters day mmmmm. That was my first chocolate shot I had ever had. Me and Gina sat on a bench and finished our little pot of joy. We had to drink it kind of awkwardly though because we didn't want to get any on our nose or anything. That was one of our very few plus's of the day.

We went back to the theatre and got a bucket of popcorn and a large coke, it was kind of our dinner because it was so late. We went to see Night in the Museum. It was SO funny! My favourite bit was when Ben Stiller goes over to the huns and starts yelling at the leader in his attempt of hun language. It went on for ages but I had just about peed myself. - You have to see it.

La Journey a la Maison

We had to run out to the bus stop because the bus came 8 minutes after the movie finished. When we got out there, we realized we were 20 minutes early. BUT, there was a bus a bit earlier in about 2 minutes. We saw a bus going around the round about away from us, so we assumed it was the wrong one. What we thought was the 7:23 bus was actually the 7:38 bus. We were all hyper and everything from the coke and we were trying to entertain ourselves. So when this 7:38 bus came we were really happy because inside the bus was warm and outside was not. We patiently waited for the bus to pull into the bus stop for us. But it just drove by.

We were so annoyed. Then the girl standing next to us finally told us, 'You have to stick your arm out' ANOTHER 20 minutes later, we finally got on the bus, GIna called her Mom letting her know everything, and we made up the excuse that it was so cold, our arms were stuck to our bodies so we couldn't get the bus.

On the bus we realized that the first bus we saw on the roundabout was the 7:23 and the one we 'missed' was the 7:38 one. It was then 8:03. Origonally, our plan was to get the 2:45 film and be back around 6. We saw the 5:20 film and still weren't back. When we got back into Chester, we checked the bus schedule to see if there was a bus to Northwich so we didn't have to walk another 20 minutes back to the train station. We had just missed it. So we had to walk.

We used our brains and went through a subway where Gina says 'There's usually a hobo just around that corner' Then she told me a story about one asking her if she had any money or marawhana. Creepy...

We actually made it to the train station and there was a train to Northwich in 15 minutes. We both wanted a drink so we went to the venders and I stuck the money in. Nothing happened. The money was stuck in the shoot, and I could still see it but a couldn't get it back :-( We finally got home. It's hard work being independant.

Typico Engwish wever

If I could go as high or low

as the wind,

as the wind,

as the wind

could blow. I'd go.

That's a poem that I remember from 1st grade.

WELL, yesterday, we were right in the middle of a storm (gasp!). We were at school minding our own buisness in english; discussing the importance of Shakepeare's first scene of Macbeth. When all of a sudden, there was a knock on the door. It was a sixth former (dun dun dun!). Apparently some 1 foot by 1foot tiles had come off some building and might decapitate some people so we had to stay in our classroom for periods 5 - 8. We had double English, then we were going to Art. And I was going to show my magaly- cool donkey Egypt tapestry thing, because we had to bring in art from a different culture. We had to stay in the same boring old classroom and do an essay on why witches are significent (?). Then if we finished, we had to write a poem about the wind. A couple of guys craving for attention wrote a poem. Their origonal was about another guys egg-shaped head. But then they did a real one, and the rhymz were pretty OK.

Anyway, we were supposed to meet our mom by the bus stop because she had a haircut appointment. But the whole school was escorted to the library until their parents came and physically collected them . Because they said that until you get home, you are our pesponsibility, so if you get decapitated, we'll get sued. But once your parents have come to get you, your not our problem anymore. Or somsing like that. You can imagine how crowded le bibliotheque was.

I tried to call ma mere and she said she wasn't moving and that some trucks have been blown off the freeway. SO I just chilled in the library with the ovver people in my year.

A few eons later, me muvver called and said a friend was gonna pick us up. Hooray! So we went to the foyay and waited. I decided to enertain myself by attempting to sit ontop of the humongous mound of paper that was there. Katherine of course just hops and lands perfectly on it. Then laughs at my silly methods of getting up. I almost succeded but Mrs. Bushell walked in. So I came to the conclusion to contain my excitment about the mountain of paper until she left. She took forever though because she was talking to Katherine. I just smiled sweetly and thought about my stupid kitties. When she finally left, our ride came. Climbing the mound is still on my to-do list.

We got in le voiture and Joe was driving! He is 17 but that is a big deal over here. So Katherine was weirded out. I sat next to Victoria, who is A-M's age, but taller than me. We drove the le pizzaria and then went to there house. We stuffed ourselves with scrummy pizza. Then did the rest of our devoirs. i won't explain the rest in detail. Finally about 4 hours later mon pere came and said that he had been on the road for 5 hours. We got home then I took a bubble bath. THe rest is boringer than this so I won't waste the large amount of energy to type out how I went to bed.

The next day everyone was saying that their power had gone out and that their chimney fell off, their tree had fallen over, their bins and contents were thrown everywhee, their hot water was gone, their sister had to sleep in their room (a sister that apparently wants dreadlocks), the wind woke them up at 3am, they didn't get home from the bus until 10:30pm etc.

I heard on the radio that it killed 10 people.

Justuff

We just went to get a cheese-booger at McDonalds. We always jump at the chance of going to McDonalds, because it's very rare. But then whenever we get there, we always are complaining and stare in astonishment at the resemblence between the real thing and the picture. They probably get famous chef's to do all the pictures, then hire some people that are bored out of thier minds and decide to try and make the burger look as gross as possible without changes the ingredients. My Dad always says 'I wonder when the flem will kick in' and it always does. But we washed it down with a healthful McFlurry. Yum. But we all know in the end we are going to come back and have it again another day :-)

While I was walking outside with my clip-clop boots, these 2 chavs* were outside smoking and because I was the last one out, they stared at me. My botts were the only thing breaking the silence. So I think that one girl was trying to imitate my clipitty-clop boots. Or she was just have a spaz attack. No, she didn't say 'Clip - clop' she said 'Bleaughhhk, bleaughhhk, bleaughhhk!' She wasn't coughing or anything. But I was just wondering what she was doing, she sounded like a vomiting duck which made it undecipherable as to what the heak she was doing.


Anyway, do you remember in a previous blog when I said I was going to "Brooje"? Well, when I got there, that was just about the ONLY (and I'm not exaggerating here) combination of spelling that they didn't have. I saw all over the place, Bruge, Brugge, Bruuge. Brugghe, Brúge, Brúgge, Bruges, and it just goes on and on. I just thought that was funny that the was I guessed how to spell it was completely and utterly wrong :-)

*Chav - lower class, uneducated, scouse accent. Tight, high, perfect, hairsprayed, ponytails, hoop earrings and pink velvet tracksuits for girls. Exercise pants with socks tucked over the end of their pants, balding at 15, baseball hats for boys.

Being Cooped up in a house does things to you

Last night, me and Katherine were playing around on a fit ball ( a really huge bouncy ball). What you are supposed to do is, Get your hands and knees on it and balance, then when you are an expert at that, you take off a hand or leg etc. Well, me and Katherine weren't supposed to be up, so we quietly entertained ourselvese by doing that. I timed her and she said 'I'll go for a minute' I kept kicking that ball and going upsidown to look at her face - because that's what abnoxious little sisters are supposed to do- but unfortunately she did stay on. My turn. I got on le grande ball and stayed on for 55 seconds, then I decided to touch her nose. I did that, but I fell off. She refused to say I had done a minute because I still had 0.43 seconds to go. Why invent rounding if we can't use it?

Our family, well the kids of our family, have been so creative as to watch TV for days straight. I sincerely think that all three of our brains put together could produce, ah heak I can't even produce somethig witty and funny with the mush inside my head. Still, I have done something else over the holidays. I have painted my nails approx. 47 times over the last almost month.

I have to force myslef to revise this week, and so far my will power to do that isn't proving very strong. To me, Chemistry is just too complicated for my blonde head and that is all I have to say. Except, why am I saying everything I am typing in my head, in an englsih accent? I really need to do something about my appearence as well, I'm wearing hobo gloves, a mickey mouse hat and 2 socks on each foot. Why? Now I have to crawl away and revise the wonders of Buddhism .