Only in the UK

Ok, I think I am ready to create this monstrosoty of a post. Hey, I might even be longer that My trip to Wal Mart!

On friday we started our road trip to Scotland. That morning I had just got a package that had a couple of new books for me. They were called: Angus, thongs and full-frontal snogging. Celandine and Knocked out by my nunga-nungas. (I know they sound disturbing, but they are so hilarious!) And I also got a new CD. Anyway, we hadn't booked a B&B (bed and breakfast) wich was CRAZY of my Mom because it was bank holiday weekend. Besically bank holidays are, you get the day off. I don't exactly know why, probably something to do with banks. So I was a little nervous about not findinga B&B and I was imagining us sleeping in the car.

I got settled in the back seat with my pillow and blanket and books and bag and we were off. Actually it wasn't as smooth as that, I kept going back inside to get things while my Mom was finding her keys or something. Anne-Marie was navigator that day, so she got the privelage of sitting in the front. At first I was listening to music. Then I started reading my new book/s. So I was basically not in the car the whole time I was in the car because I was reading. If you know what I mean.

I got sucked into my book just like that and never journeyed back to reality for quite some time. Until I had to go to the bathroom. We took a bathroom break and then headed out again. About an hour later my Mom started giggling at all of the funny names like Ramsbutt or something. Then we came across 2 towns which I had to look up from my book to see why everyone was laughing. Now you have to believe me about these 2 names, AND they were right next to eachother. Ready? Wigglesworth and Giggleswick.

Only in the UK

After a while we passed the border to scotland and just kept on agoin. By the time we were ready to stop and look for a B&B, it was about 6pm. We went passed a couple with vacancies but my Mom kept driving on. We were all starting to worry at about 8pm. And we were all in a bad mood because we were hungry. We stopped at a pub and asked about vacancies and of course, none. So we just ate there. Anne-Marie got bangers and mash.

Only in the UK

After we ate we were asking everywhere for vacancies. My mom said it was like
when mary and joseph couldn't find an Inn. Finally my Mom decides, 'If there are none at this place, we are driving home.' Katherine walked in and asked the guy. Since the rest of us were in the car (I forgot to tell you, my Dad didn't come. He stayed home to watch the stinkbutts(cats)). She was standing in there for about 15 minutes. And we finally figured out that the guy was calling around to see if there were any vacancies. FINALLY Katherine came out with a piec of paper. The guy came out too, and told my Mom how to get to this place that he finally found. Then we raced down there. My Mom kept saying how much of a sweetheart he was.

Not usually in the UK.

We all assumed that the only place left was going to be pretty crap. When we got there, I figured out that it was a nightclub/ hotel. AHHHHHH! It was a friday night so lots of people had come to partae! We walked in to the bar with all of our luggage (and my bright gold bag) and EVERYONE was staring at us. As soon as we walked in all eyes were on us, and they weren't off of us till we left the room. (I'm typing without watching my fingers for the first time!!!!!) Anyway, long wait short, we got our room key and shot upstairs like Edwin would do if he saw a moth.

The beds were lumpy and if you lay on the edge you would roll into the middle. On the upside, I got the double bed and Katherine got the single. It took me a while to get to sleep, but eventually I did...

2:30am: DUN DUN DUN DUN DIDDLE DUM DUM DUN DUN (BASE) CONSTANTLY! REPEATEDLY! OVER AND OVER AND OVER!

Katherine woke up too and said it wont stop till 3:30. nooooo!
Luckily it stopped at 3. Phew. But it took me a while to get back to sleep.

9:00am:Mom banging on the door. Katherine in the shower. I hobbled over to the door. The door is locked. I unlock it and try and open the door. Doesn't work. I try again. No. Again. Again. Again. 'Push the lock back and don't touch the door nob.'
'Mom I know, it's not working.' I finally saw a little tiny button thing under the lock. I pushed it, then pulled it, then I slid it up. I tried the lock again. Voila!

My Mom then screamed at me because it was obvious I just woke up. She asked where Katherine was, she was in the shower. Then she said, 'Be down for breakfast in 5 minutes!'

Then I hobbled back to my bed and screwed on my brain so I could think properly. Clothes - gold bag. Ther Other Junk - Backpack. I pulled on my clothes and put then walked to the bathroom (by that time Katherine was out). I slapped some cold water on my face and then told her that she had to be downstairs in 30 seconds. I had to essplain the whole conversation to her because of the noisey shower water.

I brushed my hair then stole the key then walked downstairs. Mom already looked in a happier mood. She even saved me some raspberry jam :-) We were all talking and then we ordered breakfast. My Mom and I got the full English, and Katherine and Anne-Marie got something similar. Katherine walked in and my Mom started telling her about how it took me 10 minutes to open the door. My excuse was 'The light wasn't on' pretty pethetic huh? Anyway, we were all laughing about that for a while.

After a few more minutes the waitress who had been to California came with our food. Full english = Sausage, english bacon, fried egg, grilled tomato, mushrooms, toast and usually black pudding. Covered in an inch of grease.

Only in the UK
(And the REALLY English thing to do, is dip your toast in the egg yolk.)

After that, we packed up and went on the road again. All day. Katherine was navigator of the day. Every once in a while I would giggle (cause my book was SO funny). My Mom thought I was just being retarted. But then she said 'OH! Your READING!' Durr.

We stopped at an art gallery for a while. We were gonna get some cute posters of animals, but all the cute posters were gone. I really liked this painting of a girl sitting on a chair just looking at the window, it was moslty white. My Mom got a few postcards, and she bought me a shoe. It was called 'Struttin' (I collect little scultpures of shoes, I have about 7 so far).

About 5 o' clock we stopped in Avimore. My Mummykins went to a tourists information centre (that IS how they spell center here) that did a service where they found B&B's and hotels. Clever. We ended up in a teeny weeny itsy bitsy (yellow pokatdot...)bungalow.

There was one bedroom, a small kitchen a table chairs and a couch. And a bothroom. My Mom and Anne-Marie took the bedroom, katherine got the foldout couch (which WAS a double bed so I could have shared) and I got the floor. I thought it wouldn't be so bad because I got the couch cushions and Katherine got a 1 inch thick matress.

We went to the store to get some grub at Tescos'. Oh Tesco's. Anyone in their right mind could see that Tesco's is taking over the world!!!! There are tiny Tesco's, Wal mart size Tesco's, gas station tesco's, tesco's car insurance, tesco's clothes, suitcases, food (it started off selling just food), loans. etc. etc. etc. It's just like WalMart except America is so big, there is room for Walmart I guess, I dunno it's just, they are everywhere! England is not big enough for Tesco's. Maybe it's just implanted in my brain about WalMart and America, but Tesco's is cramping England's stlye! Ok I'll stop being demented and get on with my story...We went in and there was a few people there.

We walked around picking up random things and throwing them in the basket. But before long Tesco's started filling up. It was like all the food distributers in the world had gone on strike and the only place selling food. Me and Anne-Marie couldn't find my Mom for a long time.Eventually we made our way to the 30 minute long line then went to our bungalow.

We had dinner and then went to bed...

That night was the most coldest most uncomforatablist night of all!!! I was either up because I was cold, or uncomforatable and cold! Ahhh

The next day I got up and walked to the bathroom, hands dragging behind. Went to the bathroom, got dressed, had breakfast blah blah blah. That day, I was navigator! Yay. We were going to Findhorn, which is at the very tippety top of Scotland. It took about an hour to get there. We walked into the 'town' although nothing was open except a weird fairtrade shop and an antique shop.

We were browsing in the antique shop for a while. And I found some houses (I collect houses too) I eventually went up to ask her how much they were. She said 'That one is a pound and the small one is 50p' So, I was going to buy them. I got one 50p one and the one she said 'That's a pound' about. She wrapped them up and said ' That's £2.50'

(I think I have run out of 'Only in the UK's)

Anyway, we went into the wierd fairtrade shop after that, and mooched for a while. But it was really expensive!!! Anyway, after that, we asked somebody where the real fun was. So we went there, It was this place, with stuff in it.

It was a big bit of land that had caravans, a park, houses, a shop, pottery place, an art place etc. etc. Katherine was being a teenager, so my Mom wasn't liking her very much. So she went around herself and we were stuck with a moody teenager and a hyper 10 year old. So we went to the park and I attempted the monkey bars, which gave me momories of 1st grade recess. I was a monkey back then!!!

By the time I actually manuvered Katherine off the ground III was in a mood, so I just walked off because I wanted to see all the little workshops Katherine kept saying, 'Your going the wrong way!!!' And every time I thought that a biulding was a workshop she said, 'That is someones house!'

After a billion years of Katherine being a poo, we found Mom. We looked at the neighbourhood. It was AMAZING, it was so colourful and modern and most of them were B&B's, and the flowers and plants in fron were SO cool. And it was like a little privats thing, there was one that was blue one side, green the other, red the other, orange the other :-)

We also went to the Hobbit house which was really cool, it was so COOL!!!!Ohmygosh, it was tiny and the windows were curvy, and it was inside a hill. I would put a picture in but the only camera we had was on Katherines phone, and I haven't the foggiest how to get that onto here. PLUS, Angela said it was really hard anyway. So I won't try.

The hobbit house was actually a shrine. The whole place was a buisness, but it was all really woo woo. Some of it wasn't but they sold kinda wierd stuff and the Hobbit house had cushions in a circle around this really wierd thing.

Anyway, on the wasy home it was pretty much the same as the way there, except Katherine some how legally got into the front seat for half of the way. She takes illegal showers though (I'm being a tattle-tale now).

I REALLY con't be bovvered to read through this whole blob of words and check spelling, so umm, ya that's it. Boy, that was hard work. Sorry it took my ages! I went to Scotland, what? about 2 weeks ago? I dunno